Drank a cup o' reality at 10:04 p.m. on Tuesday, Jul. 13, 2004
Bevin just asked me to do something that I didn't think would be as hard to do as it was. She asked me to recount my experiences with The Farmer in detail. (I would link some old entry here, but am at a loss as there are so many.) We have often talked about her writing a book which would feature me as the protagonist. (Come on, loyal readers, wouldn't it be a fun pulpy summer dish??)
I hope that she gives me a happy ending.
But, my experiences with The Farmer are such good foder for a plot that she wants to use them and has always had my consent. To help establish the timeline of events, she asked me to rehash it enough to establish an outline. Interestingly enough, during that time I kept a very detailed diary (including such things as dept. store cologne strips, pictures and rough drafts of letters) that is backed up by an even more detailed personal calendar. (Foreshadowing?) Some time ago I put all of this together and shoved it in the bottom drawer of my nightstand, an excellent repository for things that need to be away.
As she and i spoke this evening, I reached in and pulled it out, spreading it all across my bed. And it was as though it had leapt out of the drawer on its own and hit me. I mean, I am long since over it all and long ago I let it go. It is a "beast I am done battling," as I told Mr. Math. And I can say truly that I am so glad that I never ever see him. But suddenly, tonight, I realized the power of it all, still, as I smelled his cologne on those little strips (there must be 10 in there).
I am such a different person now than who I was then, ever so much more confident, worldly and daring; sometimes so much so that as I looked at that stuff, I marveled at that version of me and knew that He was right in breaking things off. He was right. We never would have worked out. The woman I have become knows that all and fully believes it. The girl I was then couldn't fathom it.
Yet, as I thumbed through that diary, those calendars, my semi-cryptic notes and looked at those few pictures, I couldn't help but be struck by the fact that there are some things in life that we move past and walk away from, but never really are able to get over.
I will package it all up and mail it off to Bevin tomorrow. Better for her to pick through it all than me.
*************
Oh, and that Jim guy from Saturday night called and I decided that there is no way I'm gonna' go on a date that I was set up to by Chris-Who-Can't Kiss!! Come on, consider the source.
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Old Married Lady
And now, I'm old enough for that. - Thursday, Mar. 10, 2005
I don't get it! - Saturday, Feb. 26, 2005
Stardom - Saturday, Feb. 12, 2005
many neuroses - Saturday, Feb. 05, 2005
the week of missed connections - Sunday, Jan. 30, 2005
Miss Spunky is:
a 25 year old English teacher currently on an extended adventure in Minnesota, searching for a good man with a big... truck!
I love:
My students, excessive amounts of coffee, Baja Fresh and a good hockey game.
I dislike:
Ignorance, mosquitoes, and people who write in IM and/or grammar so poor that it is clear that they are lazy. IM is LAZY, LAZY do you hear me???