Drank a cup o' reality at 12:57 p.m. on Sunday, Jul. 18, 2004
The fact that Mr. Math and I had sex again last night is not nearly as surprising as the way that we ended up in the proximity to go home together. After excessive amounts of sleep yesterday, during the hours when the rest of the world was out enjoying the golf game or beautiful weather, I was stewing.
It was so very unlike he and I to part awkwardly and without conversation that I couldn't help but be concerned. Yet, today as I'm stewing I've realized that I know enough about the man to not be so surprised. He was and is surprised by what transpired this weekend. He is embarassed by his drunkenness. He is embarassed by our first attempt's unsuccessfulness and last night's excessive effort. He is worried tremendously about me (in what ways I'm not sure). And he is feeling confused about his feelings for me and his relationship with The Old Married Lady. I know that Mr. Math has not had many other sexual experiences away from her and whatever awkwardness transpired when he was 18 and during college. So, to be intimate with me was tremendous for him.
So, he and I are both stewing. And I hate The Old Married Lady more than ever, mostly because she was there in his thoughts this morning when he woke up... I know it and it made him sad. I hate her for denying him any bit of normal 28 year old happiness.
But, I digress... yesterday I was stewing. Mary and her husband bailed out of the golf stuff and so I had no access to that. I finally called Jill, hairstylist to the hockey team and their girlfriends, for advice. She is a sweetie and the ringleader for the "Hockey Girls Club" if such a thing exists. After that, Mary and I went for dinner and on our way out the door I called Mr. Math. His phone was off (and I knew that instantly that had everything to do with The Old Married Lady.) but I left a message saying hey, and offering a lift home later at which point I was cut off.
Mary and I had been drinking margaritas and decided that a short walk was in order. I threw on some shorts and we went forr a stroll. While walking through a neighborhood I hear men voices on the other side of a fence hollering out my name, "SPPPUUUNNKKKYY????!!!!" "Hey Spunky!!" "Hey You, get over here..." So, we did.
Mr. Math and the boys were all at an after party where within 1 minute Mary and I were situated and handed drinks. It remains unclear how we were seen through the slats of the fence or which one of the boys recognized me (the final jury says that it was Jill's boyfriend Kris, buddy of The Farmer). Apparently Mr. Math and I had been the source of the daily teasing on the golf course and he had been getting lots and lots of crap about whether or not he got laid.
My presence at the party only added fuel to the fire. Later on, his introducing me to key people added more fuel. Eventually he also lent me his truck so that I could take Mary home and then come back for him. The fact that he kissed me boldly and with conviction in front of the boys (including Chris Who Can't Kiss) and others only confirmed suspicion and increased the teasing. Finally, at the end of the evening, he turned to me and said, "Honey, let's go home." And as we left, he wrapped his arm around me as told people, "We are going home."
We went home to his house. Crawled in bed, discussed sex, decided "why not?" and proceeded to have agressive athletic sex as though we were proving something. But what we were proving is beyond me. We fell asleep in an exhaused pile and there was no hugging or cuddling as usual.
That was probably my first sign that Old Married Lady was involved. It was so unlike our usual time together.
This morning we woke with out talking, got dressed and he packed. By 8 AM we were out the door: he was taking me home and then leaving directly for Up North.
He seemed unsure of what to say and I was thinking about the 1 conversation we had before sex last night: It was based on him saying that we should because this was our last time ever. This was our last chance. This might be it for good. And my replying that we weren't going to make predictions or plans and definetly not promises that we couldn't keep. I made a point to add that I'm only moving 2 hours away; it isn't as though there were some magic swich that was going to change my feelings for him, goodness knows they haven't changed yet.
As I got ready to get out of the truck I felt his awkwardness. I leanded over and we kissed a bit. I told him that I had had a wonderful time, I was really glad that we had the weekend and that I have no regrets at all; I hope he doesn't either because he shouldn't. Then I added, "What ever is bothering you will get better, I'm sure. Drive safe and I'll talk to you later."
Somewhere in there he said, "Yeah, it has been an interesting weekend."
I meant what I said: no regrets, grateful, wonderful, amazing. I'm gonna' remember this for a long time. It was a blessing and I know that in the end we won't let it ruin our friendship. Because we both know that would be stupid.
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Old Married Lady
And now, I'm old enough for that. - Thursday, Mar. 10, 2005
I don't get it! - Saturday, Feb. 26, 2005
Stardom - Saturday, Feb. 12, 2005
many neuroses - Saturday, Feb. 05, 2005
the week of missed connections - Sunday, Jan. 30, 2005
Miss Spunky is:
a 25 year old English teacher currently on an extended adventure in Minnesota, searching for a good man with a big... truck!
I love:
My students, excessive amounts of coffee, Baja Fresh and a good hockey game.
I dislike:
Ignorance, mosquitoes, and people who write in IM and/or grammar so poor that it is clear that they are lazy. IM is LAZY, LAZY do you hear me???