Drank a cup o' reality at 4:43 p.m. on Thursday, Jul. 08, 2004
Mary is dramarific and I'm not even kidding. I have attempted to continue my quest for solace from her presence to no avail... well that isn't entirely true. She left me alone yesterday but I knew that it would come at a price.
And it did, this morning just before Noon when I had ignored 2 of her phone calls already. She, once again, showed up at my house unannounced. I looked out the window concerned that the knock at the door sounded too familiar... but I didn't see her car. The sneaky sneaky had parked down the block and just slightly out of view.
I opened the door (dressed to go layout in the back yard as soon as "Judging Amy" was over) to, "Can we talk, because I really need to talk to you about this." I tried to no avail to tell her that there was nothing to talk about... she was insistent that she needed to talk to me.
We sat on the front step and she chain smoked. Apparently my moving is traumatic for her. She will miss me and wants to spend time with me. She doesn't understand why I need space. So traumatic that yesterday she called Mr. Math at his parent's Up North to talk about it. His reply, "I know how she feels."
To this I respond (in my head of course): You know what? I don't want to leave either and I'm really upset about it too. But, quite frankly my being upset, and her being upset, and Gretchen's being upset, and Shauna's being upset and Mr. Math's being upset, and everyone else being upset isn't going to change one drop of the situation. I have to move. Staying isn't a choice. And, I'm not the fool who is going to sit here and say that things will "stay the same" because I don't know what they are going to be like. For that matter I have no idea what anything is going to be like. And, mind you I happen to be the one here whose life is being turned upside down without my consent. Damnit if I'm the one who is moving and in addition to comforting myself I have to comfort everyone else too.
I'm gonna' see people and call people and have everyone up to hang out and come back for weekends to visit. Let's all be glad that I found a job in Minnesota so that I don't have to move to Washington or California.
But, showing up when you know that I just need a few days alone to think about life isn't exactly helpful. Because Mary, I am sorry that you are having such a hard time with my move, but more than that I am sorry that it is so traumatic for you when a girlfriend of 2 years moved 2 hours away. I am more sorry that you have so few other sources of friendship, fun and solace; that the whole picture looks so bleak to you. Mostly, I am sorry that you are in a disaster of a marriage; one that you talk about leaving often but we all know you never will.
To her face I gave her a hug and assured her that nothing was wrong. I'll be at her party on Saturday with Shauna and per her request I'll try to be out of my funk by Monday.
Tomorrow I will be moving half of my classroom stuff into my new classroom with the aid of 2 former students. I'll be gone all day!! Mary free!!
current
archive
profile
my rings
guestbook
Credit
my best friend
render
dland
Interesting Entries
cast
101 things
age requirements
Old Married Lady
And now, I'm old enough for that. - Thursday, Mar. 10, 2005
I don't get it! - Saturday, Feb. 26, 2005
Stardom - Saturday, Feb. 12, 2005
many neuroses - Saturday, Feb. 05, 2005
the week of missed connections - Sunday, Jan. 30, 2005
Miss Spunky is:
a 25 year old English teacher currently on an extended adventure in Minnesota, searching for a good man with a big... truck!
I love:
My students, excessive amounts of coffee, Baja Fresh and a good hockey game.
I dislike:
Ignorance, mosquitoes, and people who write in IM and/or grammar so poor that it is clear that they are lazy. IM is LAZY, LAZY do you hear me???