Drank a cup o' reality at 9:16 p.m. on Wednesday, Sept. 29, 2004
Before bed tonight I went to check out my horoscope for the upcoming week. Perhaps I should quit doing things that get under my skin before I go to bed? Thankfully I’m finally finished with Anna Karenina so that won’t upset me any more. (If you’re wondering what Tolstoy’s take on adultery is, “It’s a bad thing for everyone and very un-Christian” will cover it.) So, here’s my ‘scope:
What's dying within you, Scorpio? Is it a passion that has expired? A dream that has gone to seed? A goal you neglected for so long that it can't be resuscitated? If it's time for that part of you to die, help it die. I mean create a ritual in which you formally complete your relationship with it, let go of it for good, and begin the grieving process. In honor of its passing, write a testimonial or draw a symbolic picture, then bury that remembrance in the earth near a tree you love. When you're done with the funeral, eat the freshest, juiciest pear you can find.
What really gets me is that it is true: there are passions, dreams and goals that are dying within me. I hate that. I’ve always been Princess Persistence and recently I don’t have the drive to persist. Yet, I’m afraid that if I part with any of those goals, passions or dreams, I will be giving up some last thread that holds me to this version of myself who I can no longer be… and I really liked that version of me. Or at least I liked her better than any of the previous ones.
I’m afraid of what happens when I give up those ideals. I’m afraid of what is on the other side of them. I’m afraid that what I must allow to die is the most obvious of my goals and dreams… I’m afraid that I’m just not ready or willing to part with that one yet. It is still too near to my heart and completely unfathomable that it won’t come true.
Or maybe this is all about something far larger than a specific aspiration. Maybe that’s the point of all of this?
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Old Married Lady
And now, I'm old enough for that. - Thursday, Mar. 10, 2005
I don't get it! - Saturday, Feb. 26, 2005
Stardom - Saturday, Feb. 12, 2005
many neuroses - Saturday, Feb. 05, 2005
the week of missed connections - Sunday, Jan. 30, 2005
Miss Spunky is:
a 25 year old English teacher currently on an extended adventure in Minnesota, searching for a good man with a big... truck!
I love:
My students, excessive amounts of coffee, Baja Fresh and a good hockey game.
I dislike:
Ignorance, mosquitoes, and people who write in IM and/or grammar so poor that it is clear that they are lazy. IM is LAZY, LAZY do you hear me???