Drank a cup o' reality at 8:39 p.m. on Saturday, Apr. 17, 2004
I am enormously grateful for the gift of my family. You probably don’t know them, they can be kind of kooky, but they are wonderful and I am lucky to have them. Mostly I am lucky because we love each other and make a point of it. It doesn’t matter that I live 3,000 miles away, or rather that they do. We are connected, we talk, we don’t fight, and we laugh-lots.
Perhaps you really don’t appreciate the little blessings until you see someone else’s mess. I’m so blessed to have 2 parents who love each other, are still married (to each other) 27 years later, they love me (truly unconditionally) and they made sure that I would never be alone by providing me with my fabulous brother. My friend Mary doesn’t have it so easy. She is an only child. Her mom is dead and her dad re-married someone Mary doesn’t like. In that process her relationship with her dad has deteriorated. Complicated.
After listening to her vent about it the other night, I called up my Dad. Not my Mom, who was at a meeting. Usually I call and have long and winding conversations with Mom. Odd to call Dad and attempt the same. It ended up where I talked lots and he mostly sat there agreeing with comments like, “Yep, that happens.” Or, “Sounds like a place to leave.” Even, “People can be crummy.” When we were getting off the phone (I’m sure he was thinking to himself “Wife can field these calls from here on out”) there were the cursory “I Love Yous” and “Talk to you laters.” At which point he threw the curve ball: “I’m praying for you.” It was so A-typical that I had to call Brother. I was wondering if this was the same Dad who refused to attend church until I was 12, instead opting to work on cars in the garage and swear excessively?!
Brother and I had a great laugh over it all. In fact Brother and I talked for at least an hour. We talk frequently (meaning every week or so) but have not had time for a good, “I’m not doing anything and talking to you is fun” conversation. We talked about work, his grad school application process, hiking aspirations and my work search. We hatched schemes from planning anniversary parties for Mom and Dad, to who needs to have kids as a means to appease Mom. Our greatest scheme of the night was the escape plan. My escape plan.
I have been trying to craft my master plan to leave this sad-small town. The frustrating thing is that there are so many variables involved: licensure, keeping my job, Mr. Math, finding a job in a slow market and being someplace where I’ll be happy. I was extremely frustrated that a few of my plans involved returning to Northern CA (home of high school angst and my parents) to substitute teach. Perhaps only Victor understand why this option is so unappealing. So he and I were talking about the whys and wherefores as to my decisions and how they are all intertwined. In a moment of reading my mind and sheer brilliance Vic said, “If you are just going to give it all up and move someplace to sub, why would you move to Sacramento where you don’t have any friends? Why don’t you just move here? At least then you’ll have me.”
It was exactly what I wanted to hear.
He will enter grad school in one of 3 fabulous cities on the West Coast for the 05-06 school year. All of my options on the master plan keep this important detail in mind. Moving to join Victor is involved in several of them. The thing is that I really wanted to move to be with him if I have to leave MN. I just wanted him to make the offer.
So, the master plan options are as follows. Finally appearing in order of preference:
Plan A: Find a fabulous teaching job in The Cities, MN. Love it, stay there forever.
Plan B: Get a 1 year contract in The Cities, MN. One of the jobs I have applied for is a 1 year posting. If that did not turn into a longer situation then I would move to Victor wherever he was doing Grad School.
Plan C: Stay in this sad-small-town for one more year. At the end of that year, I would move to meet Victor wherever he is doing Grad School. The only reason that this is an option is because it is a job and benefits and a steady paycheck. I am not in a place right now to be with out steady income. Yeah, I’ll be upset and bitter, things will be weird with Mr. Math, but I’ll spend the whole year preparing to move. This option will only happen if the 1st two don’t work out.
Plan D: I call this the “Fuck You All” Plan. This is really only an option if nothing else happens. If I can’t find another job and am not offered another contract at my present job I will be screwed and need to leave. I know that I won’t stay here to sub and Victor and I agree that moving back to Mom and Dad is overly lame. Plan D involves calling Mom and Dad, getting a teaching license for Washington and moving to live near Victor for one or more years. Heck, if I’m just gonna’ be a sub and screw my resume that way, I might as well be with Vic and his fun friends!
On Monday I’m going to the big education job fair for the state of MN. My fingers are crossed but I’m not getting my heart set on anything.
These next few weeks could be very eventful.
PS: Sorry about the graphics. I hope she fixes them. If not, I’ll be fixing it in a few weeks or so (or when I have time!)
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Old Married Lady
And now, I'm old enough for that. - Thursday, Mar. 10, 2005
I don't get it! - Saturday, Feb. 26, 2005
Stardom - Saturday, Feb. 12, 2005
many neuroses - Saturday, Feb. 05, 2005
the week of missed connections - Sunday, Jan. 30, 2005
Miss Spunky is:
a 25 year old English teacher currently on an extended adventure in Minnesota, searching for a good man with a big... truck!
I love:
My students, excessive amounts of coffee, Baja Fresh and a good hockey game.
I dislike:
Ignorance, mosquitoes, and people who write in IM and/or grammar so poor that it is clear that they are lazy. IM is LAZY, LAZY do you hear me???