Drank a cup o' reality at 6:43 p.m. on Sunday, Nov. 07, 2004
Some pretty hurtful things were said last night. I got in my share of good digs too, don't worry. But, one of the several things that Mr. Math said to me has been ringing in my ears. Perhaps it hit a nerve or has some truth to it, I'm not sure, but it smarts.
He said, "You know what it is about you? It isn't just that you have a strong personality. It's that you are all about you." A long time ago he told me that I have a strong personality and I know that. Hell, it took me a long time to grow that. But what he implied last night is that I am selfish, or self absorbed, or something that I can't quite capture. It seems to say something deeper than that I have simply been on my own for too long. It seemed to say that I have been on my own for too long because I don't invest enough in others.
Is that true?
Am I too invested in myself?
Do I not keep the interests of others at heart?
If that is true, then why should anyone be my friend? Who would want to be friends with someone who is only interested in themselves and their own interests?
I recognize that I occassionally demonstrate selfish behaviors. Haven't we all let someone down? People hurt other people's feelings, that is one of the messy parts of life. Yet, we appologize, we make amends and move on. I'm not claiming that I am the perfect friend, but I do think that I am a good one. That one little statement from him has me re-evaluating the whole of the last year... what events transpired that led him to believe that I am a self-interested person? The thing is, I can't think of anything major...
Andrea says that it is just a cop-out, but still... it hurts.
Maybe it just really smarts because I feel like I invested so much in him. How could he not see that? Everyone else did.
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Old Married Lady
And now, I'm old enough for that. - Thursday, Mar. 10, 2005
I don't get it! - Saturday, Feb. 26, 2005
Stardom - Saturday, Feb. 12, 2005
many neuroses - Saturday, Feb. 05, 2005
the week of missed connections - Sunday, Jan. 30, 2005
Miss Spunky is:
a 25 year old English teacher currently on an extended adventure in Minnesota, searching for a good man with a big... truck!
I love:
My students, excessive amounts of coffee, Baja Fresh and a good hockey game.
I dislike:
Ignorance, mosquitoes, and people who write in IM and/or grammar so poor that it is clear that they are lazy. IM is LAZY, LAZY do you hear me???