Drank a cup o' reality at 8:35 p.m. on Saturday, Mar. 06, 2004
Gretchen told me to update this. As she is an infrequent reader, I figured that I should honor her request, although I am sure she will not like the content of the following:
Last night I went to an amazing hockey game. Mr. Math is an assistant coach of one of the local teams (I’m trying to be vague as to location). That team has worked very hard and overcome several hurdles late in the season to get to the section playoffs. I found myself in the habit these last few months of going to watch him coach home games attending all but 3. The first time I went I felt odd and unsure about what to do, where to sit and how to be. Eventually I had my regular spot, behind the bench where he would turn around during breaks and talk to me. I was told that when I wasn’t there he would look toward where I sat to see if I had shown up. I love watching him coach and I loved the conversations we would have after the game.
Things have been bumpy, to say the least, with Mr. Math and I since mid-February. Thus the missed games. And I was tremendously hesitant about going 1 ½ hours away to watch the section playoffs. He and I have been patching things up, but that seemed like a tremendous amount of effort. At any rate, a few of the students were going, and I am a sucker when my students invite me to do things with them. So, I bummed a ride with a colleague (and hockey mom) and her family to attend the game. It was at an area college. The college is Mr. Math’s Alma Mater.
Needless to say, I am glad that I went. Actually, glad doesn’t cover it. It was completely the right choice given the circumstances.
It was a tight game and I am sure that the other team rode home saying, “If only the refs hadn’t taken that goal in the 1st period away… If only…” As it was, Our Team won with 1.2 seconds left in OT. It was a 5-4 victory and tight at that. While Our Team did not play their best game, they did get out there and work. It was an evenly matched section final, especially since the first round and quarter final teams we were paired against were much weaker than Our Team.
I was pretty good during regular play, but OT was intense and we were all on our feet. I have to tell you I stood there in the front row, biting my lower lip and praying and praying and praying so hard, “Dear God, Please, Please, Mr. Math deserves a measure of happiness, let tonight be his night!” I was trying to watch him and the game simultaneously, and when they scored, the look on his face… It was Pure Joy. Pure Joy. I am so glad that I was there to see that.
Everyone important to him, his parents, mentors, friends and me were there. He was completely glowing. I was so proud of him, of his work, his energy and his love for those boys on the ice. In all of the months that I have loved him, I loved him more than ever last night. There was that amazing feeling of watching someone you love, in a place that they love, doing what they love. I can’t help but wonder if anything gives my pure joy the way winning that game thrilled him.
As I watched the game I couldn’t help but think of all of the games and practices, the blood and sweat he had spent in that arena, on that ice during the years when he was in college there. He is in love with that college. Then when the boys won the game and he was just beaming and shaking and glowing, how could I not share in that? I also thought about the rest of our lives, the rest of my life. And I thought, “You know, I could do this, I want to do this. I want to share in this with him. I want to be that Hockey Wife. I want to be a Hockey Mom. I want to be here. I want to be with him. More importantly I don’t want to be away from him.”
I met his parents after the game. They are adorable. I know that in December he was agonizing about me meeting them. It was brief and light, and I can’t help but wonder what he thought as I stood there shaking his parent’s hands, telling them how wonderful it was that they came all the way down from Up North. I have never wanted to meet someone’s parents as much as I wanted to meet his. It wasn’t formal and I wasn’t introduced as anything more than a friend, but I was so glad to meet them. Perhaps they were quick and saw the way he and I looked at each other. We had a great eye lock amid his frenzied glowing!
It was a wonderful night and I was there to share in it with him; that has to count for something. If not everything.
I am surer today of my feelings for him than I have ever been.
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Old Married Lady
And now, I'm old enough for that. - Thursday, Mar. 10, 2005
I don't get it! - Saturday, Feb. 26, 2005
Stardom - Saturday, Feb. 12, 2005
many neuroses - Saturday, Feb. 05, 2005
the week of missed connections - Sunday, Jan. 30, 2005
Miss Spunky is:
a 25 year old English teacher currently on an extended adventure in Minnesota, searching for a good man with a big... truck!
I love:
My students, excessive amounts of coffee, Baja Fresh and a good hockey game.
I dislike:
Ignorance, mosquitoes, and people who write in IM and/or grammar so poor that it is clear that they are lazy. IM is LAZY, LAZY do you hear me???