Drank a cup o' reality at 8:30 p.m. on Saturday, Jun. 12, 2004
Sometimes certain students get in just a little closer than others. I don’t know if it is just a mix of personalities, maturity, life experience, or kindred spirits; but it happens. There are some students who I have gotten to know as people outside of the classroom, I have come to delight in their personalities, spirits, souls, goals and life journeys. In many ways I do consider them friends in a kind of a way. And yet, none of them would think to call me anything more than Miss Spunky. Perhaps this is because of my years as a camp counselor or just that I teach through my personality and as a result my students really have the chance to know who I am.
There is a select group of girls, all now juniors, at the small-sad-school. They were in my classes my first year as a teacher when they were freshmen. I can admit that I was too much myself in those classes, but in the end I do know that no harm was done. These young ladies are all dynamic in their own right, intelligent, athletic, popular, fun and kind. In our burgeoning friendship I have been careful to not be the one seeking them out, but instead let them come to me. I have also always insisted on parent involvement. They were never allowed to come over if their parents didn’t know where they were, nor did we go out do do activities with out parent knowledge.
And so, we have attended hockey games, gone out to dinner, gone for ice cream, sat in my classroom, worked on homework and essay writing, we have ridden motorcycles, they have used my home as a place to kill time when in town, and I have been sure to support them as they adventure through high school always advocating college as the end result. I have spent time with each of the 4 girls individually and as a group.
When I found out that I would no longer be working at the small-sad-school they were the first students I told. It was like herding cats to get all 4 of them to my house at the same time. And we had a really good conversation about it all.
They have known about Mr. Math and I because I simply could not hide it. He and I have frequently referred to them as “Our Girls.” We delight in them.
On Monday one of the girls, “Lil’ Blond Girl” called me at 8:30 AM. I had just seen her on Thursday evening when I was invited to attend their class BBQ. She has been dating an older boy. He is actually 23 to her 16. (Admittedly she looks like she is 23 and he acts like he is 16, but whatever) So, she called to say that she needed to talk to me and could she come over?
We sat on my couch and she told me that she was pregnant. I held her and my heart broke for her. It was not the summer that she was expecting and this will changer her life forever. I told her that I would lover her and support her no matter what she wanted to do. That I would not tell her what to do. We talked about how to tell her mom, which she did immediately upon leaving my house, and all of the thoughts and questions racing through her mind. She already knew what she wanted to do. She will not continue the pregnancy.
I am tremendously proud of her. I’m not proud of the choices that got her into this predicament, and I made that abundantly clear, but I am proud of the maturity that went into her decision-making. Yet, my heart is broken for this Lil Blonde Girl Of Mine who I love so dearly. I know that her life will forever be marked by this turn of events and that some people will hold this choice against her. Damn them. I hope that she is strong enough to not hold this against herself. I also hope that this 23-year-old boy of hers is man enough to let her be 16. He needs to see her through this and then quit F-ing up her high school life.
So, I’ve been thinking that since Mary’s husband won’t let her go Up North to see Mr. Math (news today) that I will offer up a few days away to 2 of The Girls. 4-5 days on Mr. Math’s lake, away from all of this crap might be just what she needs. I’m thinking that we can sit on the lake, he’ll take us out on the boat, and we’ll go golfing and sit at the dock and read. Goodness knows that these are 2 girls that I would be OK having 1 beer around. (just one, not 3!)
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Old Married Lady
And now, I'm old enough for that. - Thursday, Mar. 10, 2005
I don't get it! - Saturday, Feb. 26, 2005
Stardom - Saturday, Feb. 12, 2005
many neuroses - Saturday, Feb. 05, 2005
the week of missed connections - Sunday, Jan. 30, 2005
Miss Spunky is:
a 25 year old English teacher currently on an extended adventure in Minnesota, searching for a good man with a big... truck!
I love:
My students, excessive amounts of coffee, Baja Fresh and a good hockey game.
I dislike:
Ignorance, mosquitoes, and people who write in IM and/or grammar so poor that it is clear that they are lazy. IM is LAZY, LAZY do you hear me???