Drank a cup o' reality at 1:26 p.m. on Sunday, Feb. 16, 2003
Life is determined to not let me focus on The Farmer’s recent absence from my life. Well, not in a blatant way. Yet, every now and again it comes up behind me and smacks me in the back of the head. Can’t I just have a scheduled time each day when I miss him? So that I’ll know that every day at say 7:00 AM I’ll miss him uncontrollably.
It doesn’t work that way.
Yeah, there are lots of bits and pieces of life happening, a quick rundown:
Thursday
* In an attempt to soften butter in the microwave, the microwave decided to die in a blaze of sparks and smoke. Granted, it did survive 5 years of college and last year’s poverty. But, a hell of a way to start the morning.
* On my way to work, 3 of the stupidest deer in the county decided to run on to the highway infront of my car as I was speeding along at 65 MPH. Thank God for new brakes. This confirms that deer are stupid and deserve to be my dinner. Dogs stop when seeing a car. Deer keep running, and their stupid friends keep following. I had a moment where I thought, “If I don’t hit the brakes then maybe they’ll totally wreck my ’94 Ford Taurus and I can get a truck!” Looking at the coffee in my hand and my new favorite pink sweater I thought twice and hit the brakes. Not a drop was spilled and all lived to see another day.
* This lady Amanda was in the school to pick up her kindergarten son. Who is she? A bartender in Hartland who has been calling and asking around about The Farmer. Apparently they are working together next Saturday. She is my age, has 2 sons and is single (divorced?). She knows that The Farmer and I used to be together. We stood looking at each other, pretending not to look at each other! My friend Brett, upon seeing her, said, “If The Farmer is going to leave you for that he has more than a few screws loose.” Thanks Brett. More on Amanda to come. Let’s come up with a good nickname for her.
* All of the teachers and support staff went to a yoga class for staff development.
Friday
* Previously chronicled for you
Saturday
* I have lost the ability to sleep until noon. I find this to be a sad commentary on growing-up. I was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 9 AM. DAMN
* I met my Mom’s cousin for lunch, never exciting, but always a family obligation. She leads a small sheltered life and loves me fiercely. It is sweet.
* I went to Home Depot to buy a new microwave. $50 later, Still Damn!
* Mom called me. Papa is in the hospital. We don’t know what is wrong. He will be there for about a week. He is 83, there is no way this will be good. He is my only living grandparent. I’m not ready to loose him. He was supposed to live long enough to see me marry and have children. I feel helpless here, 2000 miles away and selfish for choosing to be here. My Mom is an only child, and while Dad is tremendous, she has a lot on her plate. There has been lots of crying and pretending that I wasn’t.
* Long Talk with My Best Friend. for the first time in a long time we are at really different places in our lives; it is an interesting impasse.
* Dan did not come over. I did laundry and watched UMN obliterate UW 8-1 in the hockey game I should have been at with The Farmer. While I did not cry, not once, several times I did say aloud “We should have been there!” and “Farmer, I hope you are watching this and thinking of me!”
* I went to bed at an adult, reasonable time. At 1 AM (closing time at the local bars) Dan called me. I was completely disoriented. I have no idea why he drank and dialed; well, I do... but he won’t be getting any of that! Of course, I could not get back to sleep after being disturbed. I drifted in and out wishing that The Farmer would drink and dial me again.
Sunday
* I was going to be so good and go to church. Instead, I made cranberry pancakes and drank coffee. I watched Gretchen and Emma, my Goddaughter drive off to church and felt guilty. I’m a big slacker.
* Maybe I’ll take a shower, get dressed, finish the laundry and do the dishes...
* Maybe I’ll just call my brother and eat more pancakes!
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Old Married Lady
And now, I'm old enough for that. - Thursday, Mar. 10, 2005
I don't get it! - Saturday, Feb. 26, 2005
Stardom - Saturday, Feb. 12, 2005
many neuroses - Saturday, Feb. 05, 2005
the week of missed connections - Sunday, Jan. 30, 2005
Miss Spunky is:
a 25 year old English teacher currently on an extended adventure in Minnesota, searching for a good man with a big... truck!
I love:
My students, excessive amounts of coffee, Baja Fresh and a good hockey game.
I dislike:
Ignorance, mosquitoes, and people who write in IM and/or grammar so poor that it is clear that they are lazy. IM is LAZY, LAZY do you hear me???