Drank a cup o' reality at 9:10 p.m. on Friday, May. 14, 2004
For our last unit of the year I am reading a paraphrased textbook version of The Odyssey by Homer with my 9th grade English classes. The last time I read it I was in 9th grade and I don’t remember liking it. That was probably because I didn’t understand it. I don’t know if my students understand it this time, but I do. I finally get why the story of Ulysses’ (Odysseus) ten-year struggle to get home has lasted 1,000’s of years. I get that in the course of my lifetime I will encounter my own metaphorical Calypso, Lotus Eaters, Cyclops, Sirens, Scylla & Charbdys, and Cattle of the Sun God. I will loose some if not all of my crew along the way and while I may be offered excellent advice from Prophets and Enchantresses I may not follow it. I might anger the gods and I might find their favor. And I get what all of those mythological characters can represent in our lives: temptation, lust, empty promises, lethargy, apathy, and the price that you have to pay to get where you are going. Even the world’s most renowned war hero is at times defenseless. But, you must keep soldiering on.
This spring has been a disaster in my life.
If you read back, you will remember that in February I was told that I would not have a job in my Small-Sad-School for the 05-06 school year. I felt like I had a safety net in next year’s contract. One More Year. And on that idea I began looking for a new job. My brother helped me craft an excellent Escape Plan. So, I’ve been looking and applying. But, more and more I have been thinking that One More Year at small-sad-school would be in my best interest. Since February I have been going back and forth, finally about 2 weeks ago I decided that I really wanted One More Year.
One More Year made perfect sense: I would be almost out of debt, Vic and I could get a house, and I would have had time to look for a job out West and take care of any licensure issues. Yeah, it would be a hard year, but I have so many goals (amazingly) at Small-Sad-School that I would accomplish lots.
Wednesday at 3:20 Superintendent came in to speak with me. He informed me that I do not have the option of one more year. My teaching contract will not be renewed for next year.
He feels that this is, “in the best interest of the school.” He wants someone with a, “vested interest in the school’s future.” He feels really bad for me, but wanted to tell me as soon as he knew. Interesting that he knew 2 weeks ago, but he wanted to, “make sure that this was the decision (he) could live with.” No, there is nothing that I can do to change his mind. I argued my entire case: all I want is 1 more year, I understand that there will be nothing beyond that, I just had a great evaluation with Senile Old Principal, I have goals here, they are already hiring a new HS English teacher- the whole dept. will turn over, etc. It was to no avail. There will be no changing his mind. This is the way it will be.
I said, “Well, if this is not a conversation, and there is nothing I can say, then I would like to go home, now.” And I did.
But first I had a pedicure with the wonderful Jill. She said, “There will be no crying, let’s pedi!” Walking out, I saw that Ugly Amy was there waiting for an appointment! When it rains, it pours!!
Then, I called my co-workers to my house for a vague 7:00 PM meeting. I only wanted to have to say it once.
Mom and I talked last night. Her reaction, not telling me to pack my bags, surprised me. She suggested that I deceive them not differently from how I was deceived: I tell them that I will go to school to add to my licensure. I considered it for a long portion of today.
But, I am ready to get off the One More Year hamster wheel. This is a bad place for me I am slowly going crazy; and I will be OK when I am past it. And as soon as I get past the exhaustion, denial, shock and that stuff I will be able to figure it all out. In the mean time I am suffering from a serious case of heartbreak.
Why does every teacher have an “I Was Cut Once” story?
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Old Married Lady
And now, I'm old enough for that. - Thursday, Mar. 10, 2005
I don't get it! - Saturday, Feb. 26, 2005
Stardom - Saturday, Feb. 12, 2005
many neuroses - Saturday, Feb. 05, 2005
the week of missed connections - Sunday, Jan. 30, 2005
Miss Spunky is:
a 25 year old English teacher currently on an extended adventure in Minnesota, searching for a good man with a big... truck!
I love:
My students, excessive amounts of coffee, Baja Fresh and a good hockey game.
I dislike:
Ignorance, mosquitoes, and people who write in IM and/or grammar so poor that it is clear that they are lazy. IM is LAZY, LAZY do you hear me???